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The Selman-Troytt Commemoration

Friends of the Selman-Troytt Appreciation Society

Friends are an essential part of the smooth running of the Society and it is no exaggeration to state that the pastoral and educational work of the Society would grind to a halt were it not for their generous contributions and efforts.

Friends assist the Society in several key ways:

Physically: With over forty-seven tons of archive material and equipment to be shifted weekly in order to mount the Selman-Troytt 'Educational Away Days' at schools and hospitals, Society staff would simply be unable to cope without strong volunteers to load and unload the pantechnicons, organise the catering, distribute the 'Educational Packs' to the school-children concerned about future erectile dysfunction, and then wheel the Society staff into position on the podium.

Financially: The majority of Friends contribute to the Society's funds in very small ways, via the purchase of books, cards and merchandise. However, certain wealthy Friends, concerned about the quantity of mis-timed ejaculation around the world, have made handsome bequests in their wills. If you too are worried about unsatisfactory coition or the spread of penile flaccidity, why not consider leaving a large sum to the Society? Alternatively, if you are a wealthy entrepreneur, with or without a beard like Richard Branson's, who recognises and meets the daily challenges of self-promotion with unflagging energy, why not help the Society with a generous donation immediately?

Morally: Running the Society can be an exhausting and demoralising experience for its staff. There are difficult children to educate and placate, worried adults to counsel and soothe, huge quantities of materials to archive, and correspondence to answer from people who need comfort and reassurance about the way their bodies malfunction.

In such circumstances employees often become disheartened, discouraged and clinically depressed. A Friend can help. Hourly contact with an enthusiastic Friend who is willing to provide constant reassurance that one is not wasting one's life, especially during the difficult night hours when such fears surface in force, can help to prevent a suicide.

If you would like to become a Friend of the Society, then please begin your support in a modest way by acquiring a copy of The Selman-Troytt Papers. More involved support, particularly offers to help with transporting heavy archive materials or counselling depressed employees, can be given by contacting us.

Special Note for Web Historians
The Selman-Troytt Postcard Emporium is the oldest purveyor of E-cards on the Internet. A copy of our first Royal Warrant may be examined here. Since the granting of this illustrious award we have been patronised by aristocrats, many of whom insist upon using Selman-Troytt cards to express the depth and sincerity of their affections. Indeed many of our cards - particularly those concerned with incest and paedophilia - have been inspired by a close examination of the aristocracy.

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